Learning English with Dr. Moriarty

It has passed a lot of time since I arrived from Canada and to be honest, I have forgotten all the English that I learned there. I barely remember how to ask a whore how much for a chupa chupa, and that is sad because if I travel to an anglo-saxon country I will not have fun. Anyway, I want to improve my language skills and that´s why I have created this section: to practice my English and maybe help someone to start to learn the language of those pirates and butchers from the Great Britain. Try to find the grammatical and orthographic mistakes that I will include in every post. As a good spanish, you will learn more pointing to other´s mistakes.

In my opinion, the best way to learn a language is live in a country where it is spoken. That´s not always possible because you maybe don´t have enough money to live outside, you are afraid of taking an airplane or, who knows?, you are so racist that you can live in a place with too much races. If that is the case, we have to improvise. We can simulate the inmersion with the only thing we have at hand for free: culture. If in the high school you did something more apart from smoke weed, flirt with the french teacher and play videogames I´m sure you will know the theory of the English language: grammar, orthography, the phrasal verbs and that kind of useless stuff when you are talking with a brother from the guetto. Anyway, the hardest thing of English is understand someone when he is speaking. If you barely can understand a guy from Cádiz when he is talking your own language, you will have some difficulties. There is only a way to get used to the English accent: hear people speaking English anytime. And how can you do that in a city where the only english men are the sailors of a damaged nuclear sub?: watching movies and listening songs. That´s why I suggest you to watch or to listen everyday a movie, a tv show or a few songs in original version.

Today I will recommend you a documentary that you can find in Youtube between Justin Bieber´s last sex scandal and One Directions´s fans fainting while touching themselves in the solitud of their bedrooms: "Escape to the Legion", with Bear Grills. You may remember him from shows like "I was in the army six months and I´m fucking cool", "I smile, your pants go down" and the most known documentary: "The last survivor", although a more accurate name for the show would have been "The last survivor and his cameraman" (I always thought that the real protagonist of the show was the cameraman because he did all the things that Bear did, but he was with a fucking camera in his hands!!) Actually, the real name of the show is "Man vs Wild", but who cares?

Escape to the legion is a mix between Big Brother and one month of training in the French Foreign Legion. 12 english men, including Bear Grills and a gay wedding dress designer (what a surprise!) test how would be the basic training of a legionnaire, in the hot sands of the Sahara. Some ex-legionnaires will insult and push them beyond their strenght. It is a good show because you will be exposed to all kind of English accents, most of them will be hard to understand because they speak really fast, using slang... If you are interested, you also will learn a few things about the Foreign Legion and, who knows, maybe you will hear the call of duty (Modern Warfare) Probably at the beginning you will not understand nothing but soon you will notice that almost all that they speak about is different ways to say: Ah, the sergeant is fucking me hard.

For those who hate the "survivor guy", don´t worry, his main function is to narrate what happens in the episodes. His presence is minimum. I hope you will enjoy the show.

 

Episode 1
 

 

Episode 2
 

 

Episode 3
 

 

Episode 4

Note: Thanks to Pharaoh Gallardón II I could face a jail sentence just for linking the videos. What do you think now about Spanish justice? Stop the mad egyptian before it´s too late!

Compartir: